How to Challenge Irrational Thinking
Learn why your thoughts can sometimes feel completely convincing — even when they don’t reflect the whole picture.
When Your Thoughts Feel Like Facts
“I know I’m going to mess this up.”
“They haven’t replied. I must have done something wrong.”
“I made one mistake — I’ve ruined everything.”
Sometimes a thought arrives so quickly and feels so convincing that we don’t stop to question it.
But a thought isn’t automatically a fact.
Psychologists sometimes describe these unhelpful patterns of thinking as cognitive distortions. They can affect how we interpret ourselves, other people and what’s happening around us.
The good news is that we can learn to notice these thoughts, question them and develop a more balanced way of responding.
⏱ Quick Read (60 seconds)
Everything you need to know about executive function in less than a minute.
What is it?
A pattern of thinking where our interpretation of a situation may be more negative, extreme or certain than the evidence supports.
Why Does It Happen
Stress, anxiety, previous experiences, low confidence and strong emotions can all influence how we interpret situations.
What does it look like?
Expecting the worst, seeing things as all-or-nothing, assuming you know what someone else thinks or treating one setback as proof that you'll always fail.
What can help?
Notice the thought, pause, check the evidence and replace certainty with a more balanced explanation.
What Is Irrational Thinking?
Irrational thinking happens when our thoughts feel convincing, even though they may not accurately reflect what is happening.
These thoughts are sometimes called cognitive distortions. They can appear automatically, particularly when you are stressed, anxious, overwhelmed or worried about making a mistake.
You might find yourself thinking:
- 🧠 “I know this is going to go wrong.”
- ⚠️ “If I make one mistake, I’ve ruined everything.”
- 💭 “They didn’t reply. I must have upset them.”
- 🔁 “It happened before, so it will happen again.”
- 👀 “Everyone will notice if I get this wrong.”
- 🛡️ Handle setbacks with self-compassion
- ⭐ Trust yourself to solve problems
💡 Psychologist’s Tip
Don’t immediately ask, “How do I stop this thought?”
Instead, try:
“What evidence do I actually have that this thought is true?”
Creating that small gap between the thought and the evidence can make it easier to see the situation more clearly.
Why Does Irrational Thinking Happen?
💡 Psychologist’s Tip
Ask yourself: “What do I actually know — and what am I assuming?”
That small distinction can create enough space to consider other explanations.
Irrational thinking doesn’t mean that you’re being ridiculous or deliberately negative.
Often, your brain is trying to make sense of uncertainty quickly.
It takes the information available and creates an explanation. The difficulty is that our emotions, experiences and expectations can influence that explanation.
For example:
Your manager sends:
“Can we have a quick chat later?”
Your brain immediately responds:
“I’ve done something wrong.”
But that’s only one possible explanation.
The message itself doesn’t tell you why your manager wants to speak to you.
Learning to separate what you know from what your brain has added is an important part of challenging unhelpful thinking.
Does This Sound Familiar?
Irrational thoughts can appear so quickly that we often accept them before we’ve had a chance to question them.
Assuming the Worst
Something small happens and your mind immediately jumps to the worst possible outcome.
All-or-Nothing Thinking
Things feel either completely successful or a total failure, with very little room for anything in between.
One Thing Becomes Everything
One difficult experience starts to feel like proof that the same thing will always happen. “I didn’t get that job. I’ll never get anywhere.”
Mind Reading
You assume you know what someone else is thinking, usually without enough evidence. “They were quiet with me. They must be annoyed.”
These thoughts can feel completely believable — but feeling true and being true are not always the same thing.
Challenge the Thought One Step at a Time
You don’t have to stop negative thoughts appearing. The aim is to learn how to question them before automatically believing them.
🔎 Check the evidence
Ask yourself:
“What evidence do I actually have that this thought is true?”
Look for facts rather than what you fear might happen.
↔️ Look for another explanation
There may be more than one reason something happened.
Instead of: “They didn’t reply because I’ve annoyed them.”
Try: “There could be lots of reasons they haven’t replied yet.”
🖼️ Zoom out
One difficult moment doesn’t tell you the whole story.
If something goes wrong, ask:
“What other people, circumstances or factors contributed to this?”
This can help reduce the tendency to blame yourself for everything.
⚖️ Replace extremes with something balanced
Watch for words such as always, never, everyone, nobody, disaster and failure.
Try replacing the extreme thought with one that better fits the evidence.
“I got this wrong” is very different from “I get everything wrong.”
🌱 Take one small action
Don’t wait until the thought disappears before doing something.
Take one manageable step while the uncertainty is still there.
Each time you do, you give your brain new evidence that the feared outcome isn’t inevitable.
💡 Psychologist’s Tip
Don’t try to replace every negative thought with a positive one.
If your brain doesn’t believe the new thought, it probably won’t help. Instead, aim for a thought that is more balanced and supported by the evidence.
For example:
Instead of:
“I’m going to mess this up.”
Try:
“I’m nervous about this, but I’ve handled difficult situations before.”
You’re not trying to convince yourself everything will be fine — you’re giving your brain a more realistic version of the story.
Ready to Make Everyday Life Easier?
Our ADHD Practical Toolkit (£19) contains printable planners, reminder systems, checklists and psychologist-designed resources to reduce working memory overload in everyday life.